Opinion: The Hunt for the Elusive Six-Pack

Nope - not those! I've given hope on those ages ago... These!

I have a problem with alcohol - I don't drink. Gasp, I hear you say. That's right. I'm an alcohol virgin... or used to be, until very recently.

I think I can trace it back to my childhood. When I was in kindergarten, I wasn't given Jack Daniels for morning break. In primary school, Absolut was pretty much unknown then. In secondary school, the canteen definitely did not have Cabernet Sauvignon on the tray. In varsity, no Srewdriver, no Sex on the Beach. Nope - just sirap limau. Can't blame me then.

Actually, my tastebuds had never taken to alcohol - not even the faggoty Shandy. I still remember in varsity (when God in all his heavenly glory took quite a central spot in my life) I would dismiss all beer-guzzling mates of mine as sinners on the first class coach to Hell. Tsk tsk, my holey-moley self tutted. Well, in the map of my heart, God eventually migrated to the sidelines and ended up next to the Huge Ventricle of Cynicism (HVC), just a whisker away from the sinus perpetua doubta. Still I didn't drink.

In my first job, being the young and impressionable lad, I was fair target for my sales colleagues. They had this hideous concoction Abu Sayaff: a blend of vodka, Red Bull and lime. Totally totally vile. It was so delicious that I couldn't feel the vodka kicking in... until after my fifth glass. Oh, then it really kicked in with a vengeance. I sort of floated all the way back to my room.

The next day, I woke up all puffed up, red as a lobster. Literally blown up, like a balloon. My whole body was red and itchy as hell. My skin was hot and tender - it was bad bad allergy. My sales colleagues saw my Tweedledum face and realized that this santa chico shouldn't drink.

Bit by bit, I started taking beer - usually no more than one can at a go. A social drinker. But personally I still found the taste yucky.

And so much for my 'good Christians don't drink' belief - when I visited Jen and VinPan in Belgium, they told me that they have hundreds of beer, and some beers are brewed by monks in monasteries! I had my taste of Mort Subite, which I liked - well, VinPan told me it is usually taken by ladies for its mild and sweet taste. We went up to a monastery in the hills (the name which escapes me now) where we had the Catholic-brewed beer and Catholic-made cheese. The cheese I loved. The beer was nice, but everything tastes good in a gorgeous Belgian garden next to a centuries-old abbey.

Very recently, I joined a new company where drinking is the norm. And to my surprise, I could take four mugs of Carlsberg without bloating up like a lobster. And you know what, I like the taste.

Everyone knows drinking is one of the many ways of building valuable business relationships. At least now I can enjoy doing it. Of course, being able to charge all those expenses to your company is a huge incentive as well.

Hmm... I definitely won't join Alcoholics Anonymous anytime soon - but drinking? Hey, that sounds fine by me! Can't wait to down Abu Sayaff again - this time I'll be the last man standing... I think.