MWT: Lot 10, here I come!

I belong in the minority; the 15% of bananas that strut around speakin' with ay buh-NARE-na twang. Darn it. I'm the minority fraction of a minority race. Sad or what?

Joceline Tan wrote an article last Sunday which provided an insight into Malaysian Chinese demographics. Never mind the fact that I feel totally misrepresented. I'm just a statistic mah.

Apparently the Cina Cina hold dear their three pillars of society. Unlike my fellow dragon descendants, I subscribe to the Kepercayaan Lima Tiang:

1. Life is all about S-E-X (hey, blame Freud, not me!)

2. Life is all about fast food (masa riang, rasa heba- oops. Heh heh)

3. Life is all about porn (Trekkie Monster taught me this very important aspect)

4. Life is all about being a totally useless incapable twat (so that the remaining 85% of the kiasu chinks will do your work for you)

5. Life is all about the above.

According to the report, being in the 15% makes me a frequent visitor of *gulp* Lot 10! I mean, seriously la: where got people go to Lot 10 nowadays? The hang-out place to be is either Subang Parade or The Summit USJ! That's what I'm tokkin' 'bout bruh-ther! Lot 10, that's so passe.

Looks like race obsession is not only the affliction of a certain *ahem ahem* race, but the Chinese too. That's why la, this country will never be one. 'Cos we like to analyse the divisive elements, rather than the unifying ones. Why not research further? The bananas, are they American pisang, British pisang, or Australian pisang? Or pisang cetak rompak aka pisang nakjadi (wannabe): those that embellish each English word they utter with an inconsistent overseas slang? Then find out if the sekalian pisang like to go Lot 10 or not. Haisayman, then only your research got power wat.

It's just the ruling party's ploy to get the demographics right - so that better voter targetting strategies can be implemented. Pathetic, isn't it? When it all boils down to such an unelegant way of running the country, or representing the race? In the past, a good track record with a sincere heart would have gotten my vote. In the post-Kotler Armstrong age, looks like politics is now run like a business too.

Nah, it's just this pisang, I guess. Idealistic to a fault. Grow up -shed your yellow skin. And someday, when everyone else sheds theirs too, be it green, russet, grey, ochre, peach, olive, mauve, we would see that deep inside we've always been the same. Someday.